You Know You Have Kids When…

18 Jan

1.  You know that if the kids are quiet for too long …. something has to be wrong.

2.  “Because I said so!” is part of almost every sentence that you speak.

3.  You’d become an alcoholic if your kids were as whiny as Caillou.

4.  You know the shortcut to the bathroom in any department store, grocery store, and mall.

5.  You’ve ever had to clean barf out of your hair, clothes, carpet, carseat, bed, or sink.

6.  Peanut butter and jelly is perfectly acceptable for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner.

7.  Five hours is enough sleep to get you through the day.

8.  You get excited about going to the zoo.

9.  10:00pm is wayyyyy past your bedtime.

10.  Even when your kids are at the sitter you still get excited at the site of a school bus and can’t help but yell, “LOOK!  BUS!!”

11.  You’ve given up scrubbing tiny handprints off the windows.  They’ll be back before you turn around.

12.  You haven’t went to the bathroom alone in ____ years.

13.  You get excited about buying a new coloring book!!

14.  You’ve sat through an entire cartoon episode only to turn your back and realize your kids have been asleep or in the other room for who knows how long.

15.  You can’t remember what the stains on your shirt/pants are from.

16.  The site of Mommy putting makeup makes the baby cry (because he doesn’t recognize you) or the oldest one excited (because it means Mom & Dad are going out and he gets to stay at Papa’s)

17.  You get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and step on every battery operated toy you own!

18.  When something comes up missing, the first place you check is the toilet.

19.  You spent all day cleaning your house but at the end of the day … it looks like you’ve done nothing.

20.  You can’t imagine your life without them and your heart is experiencing the greatest love possible.

FACT:  Putting a toilet seat on your head will get stuck.

I guess he found the book he was looking for.


The cat knows where to sit when somebody is eating (by the kids).

5 Responses to “You Know You Have Kids When…”

  1. JennRox January 18, 2012 at 3:40 am #

    Thanks for this. I totally snorted laughing at a few. Even my boyfriend, who doesn't have bio-kids, has been caught, by himself as well as me, watching 1+ episodes of iCarly, Fairly Odd parents, etc. The "because I said so" hasn't been retired yet…still going 10 years strong! haha good luck, mama. Thanks again for the laughs.

  2. An Ordinary Housewife January 18, 2012 at 4:07 am #

    I can relate to some of those! Mine is only 2 (almost) so we haven't reached some of those stages yet. 🙂

  3. KERRY January 18, 2012 at 10:54 am #

    Hahaha this was so cute and funny!!! I love your bus comment and I think colouring books are awesome too :)Look at those chubby little cheeks in that last pic, you just want to kiss them don't you! Good to know we're all in the same boat lolI love the pic of your son with all the books, too funny!!

  4. Becky @ The Leverett Life January 18, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

    "Look! Bus!" is my favorite!!! Too funny and cute and I apologize in advance if I steal this idea for my blog!!! 🙂

  5. nowickcandle January 26, 2012 at 2:34 am #

    #17 made me laugh out loud! It makes me so angry when that happens!!! I just freeze and say a quick prayer that nobody wakes up!!!

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