Gifts NOT To Buy …

13 Dec

I’ve compiled a list of things that prompt us to say, “Oh you really shouldn’t have…”
There’s one thing I love most about flying ………….. SKYMALL.  I think 90% of these things came from there.  Things that make us say:  WTH?  Things that I could totally see my husband purchasing for Crazy Christmas (a tradition).  So here goes…

1.  The “Neckpro Traction Device”
We’ve all had neck pain before.  And over a few days of stretching, it eventually relieves itself.  However, we can now have immediate relief thanks to this noose “Neckpro Traction Device”.  I mean, we all have room to hang ourselves one of these on the back of our door, right?

2.  “Personal Infrared Sauna”
I’m just not quite sure what to say about this.  I would love to have a sauna.  But … but …. not this one.  I mean, what if it malfunctioned and you got stuck in there and no one was around to open it.  Yikes!!

3.  “Spa-N-A-Box”
Anything with the words “—– In A Box” (ie: Cat in a Box, Poo In A Box, Wine In A Box, etc” are items that should NEVER be purchased.  The phrase:  You get what you pay for” is key here…

4.  “Mermaid of Magellan Cove”
I mean …. why even put the seashells on her?  What’s the point?

5.  “Woven Picture Blanket”
I love my kids.  And I love my husband.  But if I wanted to be snuggly, I’d bring them to bed with me.  Not this blanket….

6.  “No Spill Mug Holder”
First of all, why would you need this?  Second of all … why in the world would you even want to attempt to spin your coffee mug full of hot coffee upside down over your head?

7.  “Fundies”
I’m a stay-at-home Mom.  My husband is lucky to come home to me wearing different clothes than the day before.  No way in hell will you even find me in a store that carries these.

8.  “Body Back Buddy”
This just looks confusing.  It looks more like a weapon.  Or something kinky.  Whatever it is …. it looks painful…

9.  “Pee & Poo Dolls”
Just don’t buy these.  For anyone.

10.  “Peekaru”
It’s just not very cute to carry your baby like a kangaroo….

BUT.  You CAN buy me this….

It’d definitely come in handy.  Do you think it’d hold a 40 lb 4-year-old too?

—————————————————————–

I also found a couple toys that you shouldn’t even think about buying for the kiddos.
And if you have any of these … please stop stalking my blog.

1.  “The Cleaning Trolley”
Unless you want your child to grow up a janitor…..

2.  “Doggie Doo Game”
Because pooper scooping is a fun thing to do?

3.  “Buzz Lightyear Cup”
No explanation needed….

3.  “Dress Up Squirrel Magnets”
Why?  Just why?

4.  “Lightning Reaction Reloaded”
The object of the game is to keep your hand on the lever and button.  When the green light comes on you push the button on your lever.  Whoever loses gets shocked.  Wow.

5.  “Roadkill Plushies”
This is even too disgusting for my little boy who thinks poop and toots are the best things ever….

6.  “Inflatable Wolverine”
One word:  Ewww.

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4 Responses to “Gifts NOT To Buy …”

  1. Kim@Chubby Cheeks Thinks December 13, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    Omg! I still can't get over buzz! Lol so gross!

  2. Meagan December 13, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    Okay I have to comment about the "lightning reaction reloaded"…a friend of mine totally had this game in highschool and we spent hours on the one-act bus (on the way to competition) playing this game. Our favorite activity was waiting until someone fell asleep and laying a controller on them (face, hands, neck) and then playing the game and letting it shock them….disturbing? Yes, but it was hilarious at the time.

  3. Shan February 14, 2012 at 6:27 am #

    Oh my goodness, that last picture caught me off guard! LOL

  4. morlajko June 11, 2012 at 12:29 am #

    This is hilarious. Since when are infrared rays good for you? Where did you find this stuff? I used to work in licensing – so I'm surprised Buzz's straw got approved… haha!

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