Holding them a little closer

14 Jun

I was checking in with the other blogs that I like to stalk and I somehow came across one on Top Mommy Blogs.  It’s now ranked the #1 Mommy Blog and it’s a story about a family with triplets + 1. 
As I read the first blog post or two it had a picture of 2 babies around the same age as Christopher.  The Mom was taking their 7 month pictures and they were in onesies that said “–> He did it <–” and there was an empty onesie in the middle.  As I continued to read I finally realized that one of the triplets had passed away.  I figured it probably happened at birth but continued reading.  I quickly realized that God’s angel (Owen) recently grew his wings.  I continued reading …  Even though I knew that I shouldn’t … I couldn’t help it.  This family is beautiful.  Normal.  An everyday family.  Just like yours and mine.  They are all healthy.  One night, as the family went in to put one of the triplets to bed, they checked on Owen who at some point, flipped over onto his tummy while sleeping.  They went to turn him over and he was lifeless and unresponsive.  I decided to stop reading.  Not for good.  Just ….. for now.  I will go back and read more of her blog later.  That’s the best thing about blogs … you can really get to know a family, a person, a life.  Their “story”.  They almost become an addition to your family with only distance that seperates you.  You get to watch their children grow, their family grow, and their life constantly evolving.  And while I never met this Mom before … I can already tell that she is the strongest person I will probably ever come across.  Yet, she has to be.  For her family, she has no choice.  And through her blog and her friends, I hope that she can grieve.  She wrote a letter to Owen.  I could barely get through the first paragraph.
I have yet to read the results of Owen’s autopsy.  I just know that his funeral was a week or so ago.  And I know that Owen was perfectly healthy…
He was rolling over.
Meeting milestones.
Happy.
Blowing rasberries.
Baby babbling.
Flirting with the ladies.
A chunky little man with rolls head to toe.
A snuggler.

He was exactly like Christopher.

It’s sad that it took reading this family’s blog to open my eyes a little wider.  I take such small things for granted.  Especially when it comes to my family.  Like, when Cash follows me into the bathroom when all I want is some peace and quiet.  Or when Christopher starts doing his ear-piercing squeal when he wants your attention.  Or when Cale tries to give me a hug while I’m loading the dishwasher and I tell him “wait til I’m done, I feel disgusting.”  So this is the last blog post I’ll write today as right now I am signing off and going to hold my boys a little closer.  Hug them a little tighter.  And play with them a lot longer.

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